I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
