Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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