at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
