Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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