was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
