i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
