I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
bring money and cleavage
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
