on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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