he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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