margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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