she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
