I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just cropdusted the office
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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