you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
