At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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