Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize