Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This baby is an asshole
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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