smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
