How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She's the barista slut.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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