so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
