I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
