yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
