He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
