u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
