I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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