I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
