I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
