Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?

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(419): View more from Ohio

having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

Fav 5 744 4323
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

Fav 11 3558 1422
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(323): View more from California

Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.

Fav 5 1211 930
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(785): View more from Kansas

When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.

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(207): View more from Maine

HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

Fav 9 1406 652
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(909): View more from California

I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.

Fav 3 97 39
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(614): View more from Ohio

her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs

Fav 0 95 12
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