Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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