either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
