I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
