I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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