Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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