I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
