o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize