There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
