i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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