Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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