i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
