I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
