I wanna passion pit in your ass
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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