No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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