I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No subtext here. People are naked.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
