Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
