I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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