i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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