We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The air taste purple.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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