I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
