his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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