let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
