coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize