It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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