There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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