If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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