Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i think i just lost a toe
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
