Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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