Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
