Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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