just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize